I watched a documentary tonight centered around the Alpha course. 5 agnostic brits attended the course including a retreat, and reported back on what they thought, how they felt, whether or not their opinion of organized religion and Christianity in particular changed at all. We had a comedy writer, a student,a middle aged woman with a troubled past and this wierd guy who was a 'freegan' which, as far as i can tell, means that he only eats food that is free. So at night time he hokes through supermarket skips to pick out all the food that is still good enough to eat. But that could be a whole entire post in itself!

I have never gone through the alpha course but I know people who have and liked it. People whose opinion I trust. I don't know why I expected a C4 show to be anything different but it was edited in a way that stained the course and Christianity as a fundamental cult with whacked out rituals and utterly naive followers. 6 weeks of motivational speakers (who read pre-prepared speeches from a mass-prepared booklet) followed by small group discussion and food served by pretty christian girls. Always have to have a good spread at church events; its part of the package. The narrator described it as a seemingly formless course which in fact was rigidly organized to produce good results. Sounds sneaky and devious doesn't it?

I remained defensive until they got to the sprirtual retreat and things got a little wierd. I felt awkward for the agnostics when they were encouraged, as a part of the course, to speak in tongues. On several occassions. Speaking in tongues was likened to a baby speaking his first muddled up words to his parents. Not by the narrator but by the minister. It was almost as if there was a method or a formula to speaking in tongues when the point of the term 'tongues' is languages that were never learnt. Speaking in tongues is, in my limited understanding, a spiritual gift. And one that can only be called upon by the Holy Spirit. And if you haven't invited the Spirit into your heart, like these people attending the alpha course, then how can they expected to tongue speak on cue. Is this not ridiculous?

I was unaware that this was such a large component of the alpha course and I think after watching this particular insight, that I and most other people watching, will not be attending the alpha course anytime soon. At least not that one.

You know it is summer when you can drive down to County Wicklow for random Thursday. Nikki and I went to visit Dublin City Mission for the day, who bring their town kids summer camping to the derelict countryside of Wicklow. Everybody loves a roadtrip but this one will remain definitive for a long time!

You can't trip the road without petrol so we're waiting outside the petrol station for 20mins waiting for it to open @ 7am. I'm pretty cranky when I'm sleepy so when the gate clearly wasn't lifting after 7, I got out and gave my what for. But apparently here in NI it is common to close your petrol station for 4 days and I forgot that the Irish are telepathic and don't need mundane items like signs or notices to tell us such obvious things. An Egg McMuffin-to-go for breakfast and we're flying down the dual carriageway. Conversation is good, the coffee is good and traffic is good. We're driving in the outside lane, alongside a big blue tanker lorry and I'm explaining the concept of Transformers. His indicator comes on, so he obviously wants to move out after we pass him. No he wants to move out now. There he is moving out. His right side wing mirror is clearly broken. We break hard, fall back and wonder how a driver of something that looks like a space shuttle be so moronic. Had there been a car behind us, we would not have been able to break so hard and Nikki's car would have been road kill with us in it. What's a good road trip without a near-death experience though? We navigated ourselves really well and I tried real hard not to spill coffee all down myself the way there because I always do and I was wearing a white tshirt. 2 mins before we get there coffee spills. Rage.

On the trip home 15hours later; we were exhausted. Up since 6am, we left Wicklow near 12am and had 3 hours to keep ourselves awake. The news about Michael Jackson had just come out so that kept us going for a little bit. The roads seemed so long, there weren't many cars, no service stations and we couldn't speed because there were camera's everywhere. It felt like a snail's pace and our eyes were so heavy. But we get to the home stretch, the dual carriageway between Banbridge and Lisburn. And out of nowhere this sloth-like creature crawls out onto the road and THUD. We hit it. Full on annihalated it. Was it a dog? Was it a badger? A mole? It looked like something out of Lord of the Rings. An orks pet perhaps. We're staring at each other. Do we stop? Do we laugh? Do we cry? Nikki is a chronic worry wart so I don't know how she will react so I just stare. We burst out laughing harder than ever before. It was just too funny. That badger will live on in our lives forever, because he kept us awake that night so we could get home safe.

Thank you Barry. And we really hope you were a badger.

For you crazy kats that have submitted to the evil pulling power of facebooks farmtown, you will know that my farmer name is Cappie. And those at my 23rd birthday will remember my build-a-bear that we finally decided to name Faggins. Put them together and you get the name of the co-lead character of my new literary series/TV movie....Cappie Faggins. Joining Cappie will be the fantastic Colonel Munchface who exploits battery operated chickens on her farm. Currently there is a petition you can sign to save the battery chickens and you can find it at www.toodleloomuvafukaaaaahs.com. Also hoping to sign on to join these 2 dorks is K. Crapbag, but due to previous committments and a mysterious car incident; it may be legally difficult to take Crapbag under our wing.

Stay tuned to hear more about the adventures of Cappie and the Colonel.

My smelly friend Amy wrote a little about what she had learned over the past 3 months. Which got me thinking about what I might have been learning in the past few months.

1. Everything is subject to change at any moment. Even those things in your life that you think never could change will change.

2. Change is one of the hardest things to come to terms with. It's hard to let go of what you're used to and it's hard to embrace the unfamiliar.

3. While you are struggling, you can be sure that the people around you are struggling also. Even thought nobody talks about it, everybody knows its there.

4. People's priorities change when relationships and circumstances change. And sometimes that leaves you feeling left behind. But it's ok to feel like that, because when you lose something important to you, it is replaced by something better. God is good that way.

5. You have to take one day at a time. Making long term earthly plans is pointless. More often than not, your long term ideas won't go exactly to plan leaving you lost and anxious. Take each day as a clean canvas, and use it to glorify God through the little things. Do a small job for somebody. Run errands for those who can't. Do something creative. Read a book. Listen to a sermon. Get in touch with a friend who might need some company. Life is what YOU make it.

I should probably mention that these are not yet lessons learnt. They are lessons I'm in the process of learning. I am still stubborn, frustrated and I complain ALOT. But I am still confident and hopeful that, given a little more time and an awesome summer, that I will come to peace with everything and everyone here with me.

http://www.fuelevents.com

Fuel 09 is a great concept, and having these bands in Ireland has been awesome. We're a little behind the times here in NI as far as Christian music is concerned and unless you've spent time in North America or know somebody who has, you might not be familar with alot of the line up. But trust me, the line up the fuel team put together was second to none.

I got to meet Downhere yesterday and it was a privilege. Hearing their story, where the band name came from, talking to them about Canada, sharing the whole thing in Ballymena of all places. The guys are down to earth, approachable, and unlike other musicians that will remain nameless (*****/***) And you know what the greatest thing was? Mainstage sat night, their set, their music was all about God. They were the only act I caught throughout the day that didn't cover any sec songs. They shared there past experiences and the stories of their songs and it all made for a great reception and a great night despite some disappointments during the weekend.

And I have to give some props to the kids at church this morning who were jamming along on their guitars and drums and voices to the old school hymns. It was a highlight for me and made it worth getting out of bed for after a crazy week.

I had a hilarious conversation with some friends this evening. We sat in what was left of one of the most beautiful days this summer so far, and we talked about animals. Birds, lions and midgies to be precise. We marveled at a birds ability to conjure up a conversation with a friend sitting over on the neighbours chimney. We giggled at the mental image of a lion clinging on to an aeroplane wing. And we poked fun at the midgies who can never move from one spot and one particular midgie who put their short 24hr lifes energies into making as much noise as possible when he zoomed past us. Or she? We don't know. How do you tell the difference in midgies? At this point, we got cold and the boys walked me home and we reminisced about our holiday in France back in 2007, walking to and from each others tent in the evenings.

It's funny how little conversations like this one are remembered. One of the many books I write in the future will focus completely on these lighthearted and pointless conversations. Of which I have had many. Life doesn't always have to be serious and conversations don't always have to make sense. At some point, you got to let the worrying and the frustrations and all the things that constantly annoy you go, and talk about the midgies.

I don't watch Britain's got talent. You have X Factor for the budding popstars, and you have strictly come dancing for the budding fred & gingers; you have big bro for the weirdos with nothing better to do for an entire summer, and you have next top model for the beautiful people. So Britain's got talent is just an excuse for all the leftovers, right? WRONG! It pulled 15million viewers over the weekend so I checked it out; nothing ever happens on a Mondays anyway. And I found these wee gems!

Harry Potter. Dumbledore. Voldemort. I took a notion this week, while I was looking through the masses of part-time courses available to me for next year, to watch all the HP movies in eager anticipation of the half-blood prince this summer. Notions that are a direct repercussions of Apple trailers; yes, I am weak. I spent an unjustifiable amount of time watching said trailers last night and it only left me with a heavy head and feelings of dissatisfaction? Unsatisfaction?

You can say whatever you like about our Harry, but you cannot deny the unbelievable sense of imagination it must take to write these stories. And not just one story, 7 stories that get more and more exciting. I would give alot to have an imagination like that. I could completely escape my mondane schedule and live in a world of fiction. It's healthy to exercise you're imagination from time to time, and let your rational mind take a break. With a kit-kat. And Elvis Presley.

As a christian who see's no harm in the harry potter series, on the basis that it is complete fiction, it's interesting to me all the religious debates over the subject. I think it is silly, especially considering the endorsements on other magical stories including Narnia and Middle Earth. Set aside the darkness and the evil and you'll see recurring themes like good over evil, loyalty, love and resilience. We are taught to love above all else and here, Harry Potter is protected solely by the love of his mother who sacraficed her life to save him. Mmmmmmm.

In the same way the fictional Rita Skeeter uses her media influence to paint inaccurate and sometimes false pictures of Harry Potter and other 'goodies' in the books, our own media paints similarly inaccurate situations in an attempt to alter our perceptions and our enjoyment. Why let it happen?

Its 'cool' to have a cause. I recently recieved an email from ASOS or was reading some glossy mag or possibly both, but one or the other was giving out fashion advice for supporting your particular cause. I was confused because in my head, fashion doesn't go hand in hand with humanitarian support but this article was very nonchalent about the issue, like it was so natural to link the two, like there was barely any need to write an article about it except for idiots like myself.

Basically, the trick is to look super stylish but like you didn't put any effort into your style. It mean lots of mis matching, crazy hair colours, hippy-like elements and plenty of tshirts with bold, blunt and controversial messages. On facebook we join causes. Protests are social events. Overseas humanitarian work looks good on our resume's. Makes us look more well rounded. Appearing selfless has become utterly selfish.
There is a reason a cause has become a cause. And the reasons are getting lost in the hype and the style requirements and the lifestyles. Even google couldn't decide which cause to support without ruffling some feathers so they bunged 4 into 1!!

I just read an article talking about career women. It weighed up the pro's and con's of the cut-throat bitch career women vs the charming and subtly intelligent ladies of the business world. I'm guessing that the huge impact Michelle Obama instigated the entire debate.

I, for one, am glad that the more understated woman is getting some props. Lucky for me, my passion is for youth and I look forward to a life of jeans and bodywarmers and snotty teenagers with attitude problems, so I don't see an alpha-negative fauz-male career snobs who swear like truckers getting in my way. But, if my destiny changes in a similar fashion to that of Capt Kirk and Commander Spock, I would like to think that women can continue to be lady like, gentle and understated without being taken advantage of and still having an equal opportunity to move up that ladder everyone always talks about without turning to alcohol, narcotic drugs or over-priced therapy.

The underlying cause for my overtly feminine rant (which is far from over) this evening....last weekend I spent stranded in the middle of nowhere where teenagers drive tractors and have regular barn dances. You think I'm joking but I'm not...we attended one. Anyway, point is that alot of remarks, jokes, jests, whatevers were made regarding a women's role in life and it was often associated with cooking, cleaning, being seen and not heard blah blah blah. Being sexist is discriminating. It's just another form of prejudice. God didn't set the golden rule for neighbours of the same sex only so...FLPC boys...treat us the same way you expect us to treat you.

Rant over. For now.