Today was the last day of Camp Peace After Schools Program. It was a fairly normal day, nothing special happened, didn't feel all that different but it was. I woke up this morning and all of a sudden I wasn't so excited to be staff instead of intern, I wasn't so excited to move out of the Urban Promise house and I wasn't so excited for the summer.

I love After Schools Program and I love the people I work with on a daily basis and it makes me apprehensive to think that those things might change. I don't like to say goodbye and I don't transition well. Although I know that both are necessary for growth, it frustrates me that no matter how many times I do it, it still never jades me, I don't get better at it. 

Why do we worry about silly things? We even know that they are silly at the time but we still worry. It always works out ok but we still worry. What I am worrying about right now is definitely not what I should be worrying about. Can anybody relate or should I be booking an appt with a physciatrist? 

P.S. Props to Camp Peace kids....just because they're awesome and I'll miss them.

A picture speaks a thousand words...

Enough said.

Religion vs Relation

Our religious spirit is something we want to get rid off. Our religious spirit sets up rules for everything in our lives and if we follow those rules and do what is expected of us then we feel deserving and confident in our righteousness. But it's us who sets the rules for what we have to do and how we have to behave to be right with God, not God himself. And the only thing God feels when we do this is disappointment. He doesn't want us to say "I did this for you so now we are all good and I can accept what you're giving me". He wants us to say "I'm sorry and I don't deserve your grace but I know I still have it". As soon as we can separate our religious spirit and sinful nature from the person God see's in us, we can start feeling free. 

And how do we burn that religious spirit? Gratitude and generousity. Always be grateful, especially for the things we don't deserve. And always be generous, especially to people who don't deserve. Totally kills the religious spirit. 

Props to Craig Mitchell. 

CAMP PEACE HAS GOTS THE GAME AND THE TROPHY WITH THE FRAME.....WATCH OUT CAUSE WE'LL BE COMING BACK AGAIN!

Camp Peace won the first all-camps day and it was awesome! A really great way to start finishing off AfterSchools Program, I was super proud of my kids. They are some of my favourite things in this world and May 30th is going to be a happy but very sad day. Even though I do want to come back and work with Camp Peace again, I still know that it will never be like this year. It's been special. Letting go will be hard. 

This has been the worst weekend I can remember in a long time. I've been so sick with the flu I have bearly been able to leave my bed. So I wasn't able to qualify for first aid this weekend but I am an expert in popping all kinds of pills. I have a rather nice collection beside my bed, all different colours and flavours. 

I started out fairly positive about the whole thing, trying to take the opportunity to chill out by myself and rest up and deal with some issues that have been distracting me lately. But it's really hard to do that when you are constantly coughing up mucus, can't talk or even breathe very well. So by the end of the weekend I felt deeply sorry for myself and for the first time this week, wished I could go home so my mum could take care of me. Because when you are here on your own, all you got is yourself.

Today I'm writing my resume to start sending home for jobs in Sept, which is rather fitting considering how we talked about re-entry in intern class this morning. I'm considering applying for some admin positions in local ministries to get a foot in the door, start making connections and applying for discipleship training schools or peace & reconciliation courses. There are alot of possibilities and I want to keep myself busy and make the most of my time at home and in an ideal world, I would have alot of it applied for before summer chaos kicks in.

Writing resume's is not easy. You have to use the right words, proof read at least 5 times and it cannot look generic. How do you make something look un-generic when everybody uses the same templates found on the same programs and the same websites? I worked on it all morning and it looked sweet on my computer screen but as soon as I printed it out it looked rubbish. A mac screen makes everything look super cool though!

So if anybody has any innovative suggestions as to how to make my resume look super awesome, please do comment. You will be rewarded with extra jewels on your crown in heaven.

Would you rather end a dictatorship or lead one?

Would you rather have your organs grow outside your body and or change sex, with all the ops?

Would you rather have your eyes glued shut or a magnetic head?

This may seem rather random but it sums up my friends here at UrbanPromise pretty well. I believe without a doubt that when I leave here, I will be unable to function in 'normal' relationships....and secretly I'm quite glad about that.