I start my new job tomorrow. After-Schools Program Supervisor. And I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty nervous and I'm more disappointed that summer is over than excited about program.

I really cannot wait until heaven and a chance to actually understand life on earth. I spend more time confused than I do any other feeling. Sometimes it is angry confused, sometimes it's funny confused and sometimes it is completely clueless confused but it is always confused. I can never work out why some things happen and I can't work why other things don't happen. The littlest things bother me yet the big things don't phase me. Is it me or is it the man? Who has the problem? If it's the man, I'll fight them. And win.

Either way....I need a therapist more this week than I did 2 weeks ago. Or anger management classes.

Today I met a potential suitor. I don't know his name but I do know that he was wearing a striking yellow vest and a red tie with a suspicious yet intriguing odour. He smoothly opened the conversation outside of church, inquiring as to what time the service starts. The service was over. He then asked if I was Ben's girlfriend. Ben is 14 and one of my bestie's little brothers so that was awkward. He then asked Sean if I was his girlfriend and Sean said yes and stroked my head, a little like one would do to a dog. Yellow vest dude then proceeded to say....

"...I know I'm past my sell by date and I'll probably get a slap but if I was 50 years younger I would ask for your phone number..."

This isn't the end of the story. He ran away, a little like geoffrey leonard the paedophile, and we laughed really hard. It was the funniest thing. But yellow vest dude came back out and started to quote Romeo and Julliet to us before running away into the distance without even a name. All I know is that he was great and believed in love at first sight.

I need a therapist.

Young leaders are completely under-estimated in church. They are this amazing untapped resource of fresh outlooks, fresh ideas and fresh grasps on life. When you find yourself in leadership for a few years, without realizing, you enter this downward spiral of cynicism and emotional fatigue. You see young leaders step up to the plate with enthusiasm and passion and you remember a time when you were just like that. You begin to wonder when you lost that and if it is too late to get it back.

Short answer is it's not. The solution is to learn from these new leaders and follow their example. You have built into their lives and now they are stepping out on their own and the tables turn a little bit. They are now friends. Bro's and sista's in Christ for life! Do not think less of them because they are young.

I've been truly inspired by my team in Toronto and I am going to have an outlook makeover. I'm going to pray that God would strip away all that is not of Him like lethargy and indifference and restore my passion and my devotion and my excitement.

"...Keep a close watch on how you live and on your teaching. Stay true to what is right for the sake of your salvation and the salvation of those who hear you." 1 Timothy 4:16

My time in Toronto. In bullet points.

Walking. 2 blisters in the worst places but alot of good conversation time.

Speculation. People like to think they know what is going on but they really don't.

Journals. I love writing in my journal, it's one of the only ways I take time to think through things so to see the team spend time writing in their own journals and others was awesome!

Devos. One of the highlights of everyday. There is something really special when a group of Christians can come together everyday and give something up to God. It is such an integral part of healthy Christian community.

Smellyness. Everybody, girls and boys, had smelly suitcases when we were coming home. Really smelly. I went through an entire bottle of febreeze and I didn't bring enough clothes.

Packed Lunches. Jam sandwiches, yoghurt and fruit vs Bagel with cream cheese. The daily decision.

Ketchup Hair. I use this term to sum up all the ridiculous things that happened, all in good appropriate fun. All the funny little things that, no matter how well you use words, cannot be fully justified in writing.

Tim Hortons. Morning run, afternoon fix and a pick me up in the evening. Large double double thanks.

Tiny Summer Camps. Camp Peace Toronto 17 vs Camp Peace Vancouver 120. It was a very wierd adjustment. But a positive one.

Tattoos. No I didn't get another one but we had lots of fun drawing them on with biro. I can still see outlines all over my legs!

Haunted Churches. I do not know what was going on in that church or who was going on, but bibles open all over the floor, freaky assed music boxes playing in the bathroom, flickering lights and banging shower doors. WIERD.