Collateral Damage defn damage that is unintended or incidental to the intended outcome.

I walked home this evening, it early but dark and very very cold. Snow is expected. The sky was so clear and it's the first time I've so many stars in a long time. I live in a development of a million homes. I walked through the whole estate and I did'nt pass a single soul, or even a car, not one living thing. It was silent. Just Josh Groban on my ipod. It felt like 28 days later. Like a suburban desert. It was quite unsettling. But in a few weeks when there is snow and Christmas lights decorating the streets, it will be my favourite thing to do.

"Most birds were created to fly. being grounded for them is a limitation within their ability to fly, not the other way around. You, Mack, on the other hand, were created to be loved. So for you to live as if you were unloved is a limitation, not the other way around. Living unloved is like clipping a bird's wings and removing its ability to fly. Pain has a way of clipping our wings and keeping us from being able to fly. And if left unresolved for very long, you can almose forget that you were ever created to fly in the first place."

5 Reasons I hate Monday 24th November, 2008.

1. My aspirations of becoming an F1 driver were once again dashed.
2. A conscious decision to screw positive thinking leads me to climb back into bed after disappointment and feel sorry for myself in between naps for 3 hours.
3. Returning to the land of positivity, jumping out from the under the covers just to trip and fall as a result of the shit that has accumulated all over my bedroom.
4. Sketchy kebab for dinner.
5. Having to admit to defeat and ask for the answer.

5 Reasons Monday 24th November 2008 wasn't that bad.

1. My room is now spotless and an area of peace and tranquility.
2. The curry fried rice I ordered later on in secret.
3. Expanding my global vocabulary.
4. Santa Claus on my coke bottle.
5. My evening painting door frames with Nik whilst the boys lock us out of their male bonding time. Keith and Crofty...it's the principle. Think about it.

At one point in my life, I made a decision and said 'Jesus, change me. I am yours.' That was awesome. Once I made that commitment, I put myself inside a circle. A circle where God is at the centre and never moves. But I can move because God gave me the freedom to move and I choose to move. By the choices I make, I can slide away to the very periphery of this circle or I can place myself right beside God where I can clearly see Him and His grace in my life. He never leaves the circle and He never pushes me out of the circle.

I will never leave the circle, even in the times I want to.

Why?

Jesus in me. When I make mistakes, ignore boundaries, make bad judgements like I have recently I wake up and I feel guilt. My heart and my mind feels it when I do wrong things and I can't ignore it. In the times when I am at the very edge, when I'm not praying, the Holy Spirit is praying for me.

And hopefully the next time, faced with the same situations I will do the right thing and respect the limits.

Blogs are kind of stupid when you think about it. Sure it's fun to tell peeps about funny stories or inspiring thoughts but when you go through something substantial in your life, you can't write about it to protect the peeps involved. And yourself. Maybe I'll start an anonymous blog and brutally tell the truth.

I love Formula 1. I first started watching it because I fell in love with Jenson Button, at age 14. The more I watched it the more I appreciated the beauty of the cars and the intelligence of the mechanics. But despite the seriousness of the sport and the absurd expensiveness of the sport in a world apparent economic crisis, this video sums up why I love the sport. Some of the most intelligent drivers and engineers making fools of themselves. Perfection. And who doesn't want to relive Jenson's first win or the day Schumacher broke down in tears.

I FAILED my driving test this morning. Some of you who know me may laugh, but this time I deserved to pass. My examiner was just a stick who had a bad week, clearly. To make myself feel better I bought shoes. It didn't work. And on the way home we got stuck in the worst traffic jam since Deep Impact. I was surrounded by cars. Cars everywhere with people legally allowed to drive them. People with little pink plastic licenses rather than my crummy blue one.

I finally got home, pulled on some cosy pjs, ate some irish chinese food, watched Greys anatomy, looked at my watch thinking sleepy time and it was 7pm. Shit. To save me from myself, I grabbed some jeans and went to church for a little singing and sermoning. The guy speaking talked about how you don't always have to be talking about the gospel to be enjoying fellowship together. Which made me think of my own amigos. Ask us to get together and watch stupid movies and we will. Ask us to get together and complain about church and we will. Ask us to get together and drink coffee and we will. But ask us to get together and get deeper and we're all busy. One word...disconnected.

And here is a verse I want to hear your opinion on, "without a vision the people perish"~Proverbs

I had a small meltdown this evening whilst out and about practicing some parking for my upcoming driving test. I spent 45 mins trying to reverse park into this one space and halfway through I started to cry because it was so beyond my understanding that somebody with a degree in Chemistry could not perfect reversing the littlest car in the UK. 45 mins driving in and out of one parking space. This one space was my giant. A giant I wanted to run over with my little car. And his (or her!) stupid white lines.

Turns out, the parking spaces weren't even rectangles, they were kind of fanned out because of the incline of the road so it was actually impossible to park in line with the white lines.

I'm putting out a global prayer request for the events in Lisburn on Friday morning. Pray for the drivers of the road and the pedestrains and pray most of all for my examiner because if he makes me cry or fails me, I cannot be held responsible for my actions.

P.S. Congrats Obams