Spring Break Camp starts in 4days. If it crashes and burns, it won't say much for me, the acting director. Obviously thats at the fore front of my mind tonight.

Not really.

There is so much 'clutter' in my headspace these days that I don't know what to do with. I am constantly re-evaluating myself and what people tell me.

"You need to stand up for yourself". Fair enough. "Problems within my community are getting worse". I agree. "You're not ready to be a site director". Disagree.

I am so busy thinking about these things over and over that it is suddenly 3am in the morning and I am still not asleep. That suddenly I am doubting my abilities even though I know deep down I am capable. That suddenly I haven't read my bible in a week and then, not so suddenly, I've separated my struggles from my God. Now I have to start bridging the gap so I can use the skills God gave me to fix my community and to stand up for myself by proving that I am more than capable of doing what I want.

Feels like I spend more time bridging gaps between me and God than enjoying my relationship with God.