Hello blog world. We've been going through a dry spell lately but hopefully the change in Irish weather is permanent and inspiration will come a-knocking any day now. Meanwhile I will continue to watch House, and settle into a new routine. A routine of an employed variety. That's right folks, Debs went and got herself a job. One with money and everything. You are reading the blog of the new supervisor of the new after-school program at Wallace's prepatory dept. A brand new group of kids to pass my invaluable wisdom onto. And soon we will be able to share funny kid stories again.

But, for those of you who believe in karma, every silver lining is balanced with darkness and this week that would be child protection training. If I miss it this time, they will take me outside the city walls and throw rocks at me. But if I go, I risk losing one too many brain cells and living out the remainder of my days as a vegetable. Child protection is necessary, I get it, but people setting out the rules here are 2 spanners short of a full toolbox if you know what I mean.

1. Only use one eye to look at a child. Two will suggest you actually give a crap.

2. If a child approaches for an embrace of some description, curl up into the foetal position to ensure minimal contact and signal to other leaders that a line is about to be crossed.

3. NEVER be honest with the child. If they ever find out you're not perfect, they may resort to various forms of criminal activity and a lifetime of therapy and that is your fault.

4. There must be 7.5 leaders to every 2 children present.

Hey, I should be the church child protection officer.