Hello.

So my blog is changing addresses. Unfortunately I suspect that the email account I used for tailormade.blogspot.com is being used by somebody else or has been hacked into or something wierd. Since the email address was not my primary address I deleted the account.

So if you do check it out regularly or bookmark it or something (or if you want to start!) then go here....

http://www.just-debs.blogspot.com

Thanks.

Let's talk about Starbucks. The largest coffehouse chain in the world. (Fact). I, for one, having spent significant periods of time outside NI appreciate having Starbucks around although I will never understand why their menu is limited here. Do they think that Irish peeps wouldn't fancy a passion fruit iced tea or a crushed strawberry lemonade?

This is not the point.

Irish peeps are sometimes renowned for being intellectually challenged or 'thick'. And we certainly don't take kindly to large monopolizing American franchises like Starbucks. But we don't do ourselves any favors when we attempt to order coffee in said franchises. For the record, we are actually a semi-intelligent nation with a commendable education system but in Starbucks we are clueless.

Yesterday I stood in line behind a woman who wanted 3 simple drinks...2 Americano's and a mocha. She made it so complicated that she had to go back up to the counter 3times to complain that it wasn't what she wanted. And then she complained about how crappy the service was....she will probably sue the coffeehouse for negligence because that is also what we do here. Sue people.

Meanwhile peeps in Vancouver are enjoying being all famous and olympic-y AND being capable of ordering coffee.

I used to be really good at writing blog posts. You're probably reading this because you find yourself with too much time on your hands so take a little more time and go look back at some of the quality entries I wrote back in the day. And now when I sit to write, I have so many mental little thoughts racing through my head that I can't physically put them all together. So the best thing is to bullet it all up for you....

1. My room is a holy MESS.

2. It's funny how things work out.

3. I love youth ministry.

4. I hate youth ministry.

5. I'm off work for 6days, what on earth will I do?

It was our senior youth retreat this weekend. It's always a wierd feeling when you get home from a weekend away but this time it's different and I'm not exactly sure why. The past few months, with my faith, I've been working on letting things go. Taking stuff out of my head and putting it in God's hands and trusting that it'll be ok. And it's been good, I've seen things turn out ok and it's been encouraging. But the challenge, I guess, is continuing to leave those things in God's hands and out of your head.

Things will always come back to haunt you, to make you doubt yourself and the people around you. It's really hard to look back on what's happened in the past and not say 'why did I react that way' or 'why didn't I do that instead'. I think I've said before that life is a balancing act. As a christian, we have to constantly find a balance between accepting the grace of God and His forgiveness without taking it for granted, trusting God with everything that troubles us without becoming complacent, serving God without letting our faith grow cold, setting good examples without becoming self righteous and still learning from Jesus' examples, resisting temptations but still enjoying life.

And it's really hard because once you get ahead with one thing, you're reminded of something else you have forgotten. All in our search for holistic living. Sometimes I doubt myself as a leader because there are so many things I haven't mastered yet...but if I wait until I do, then I'm never going to be a leader. And I love being a leader. 

Lists. I have met numerous people in my life that make lists. List makers. For these people, life just doesn't function as well without a list. A check list before you leave, a shopping list, a to-do list, a stress list, a list of goals.....it's endless.

I am also a list maker, a keeper of check boxes, a notepad fiend. I'm not too sure when it happened but it is definitely fact when you consider the number of lists I found in my bag today and threw out. Some of which weren't even completed. Maybe it is to compensate for my seriously bad time management skills or maybe it is a little like therapy or maybe this is just what happens when you get a little older and life gets busier. Whatever it is, when I can take all the thoughts that are clouding up my headspace and write them down on paper then I can think straight again. I can sleep sound or get on with my day without worrying that I'll forget about this and that. And getting to put a tick in the box when you get something done makes it even more satisfying when you get something done!

So if you make lists, props to you and be proud of your lists. It's character building.

Speaks for itself really. Very very good :o)

Reasons why Robin Hood is the best hero and legend.

1.He lives in a forest.

2. His weapon of choice is a bow & arrow which requires mad skills and is seriously cool.

3. He wears tunics and hooded cloaks, no super tight onesies or balaclava's decorated with spiderwebs.

4. I like the color green.

5. His men are always merry.

6. He is a compassionate and kind hearted outlaw. A good bad guy!

7. Kryptonite ain't gonna kill him Yo.

8. He's a one girl guy.

9. Steal from the rich and give to the poor. This is a mission statement I'm ok with.

Somebody asked me over New Year what my perfect guy would be like. I think he's Robin Hood.

Glee. I love it and I am not ashamed to admit that I have hitched one of my stars to the Glee bandwagon filled with hilarious one-liners, obsessive crushes and cheeseball songs. I'm involved.

I watched an ep tonight where hot guy in a fake wheelchair gets into a scrap with sometimes-hot guy in a fake wheelchair. Scrap turns into a fist fight and hot teacher breaks it up demanding an explanation.

"I'm just really stressed about the bake-sale Mr Schu"!

He's not stressed about the bake-sale. He is stressed because he slept with his best mate's girl, knocked her up then fell in love with her. FAIL. But here is the thing...we all say we are stressed about the bake-sale, or 'work', or 'church stuff', or we're just really tired or just really busy.

I'm a little stressed about the bake-sale. There is alot going on, so many people to contact and keep informed, so many things to be organized and planned at work and at church and with friends and at home. After School club and youth retreat and summer holidays. But beyond that I'm thinking about making decisions about what happens after this semester, this summer. Making decisions about relationships and trying to enjoy life because I do love it at the minute.

Life is one big bake-sale.

Dr Seuss was a smart smart dude. He said this...."Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind".

Sometimes I'm loud and outspoken but it doesn't make me arrogant. And in others I am quiet and unsure, but that doesn't mean that I'm afraid or that I don't have alot to say. I'm incredibly stubborn but I'm easy-going. I forgive easily but it takes a long time to forget. I try to keep my feelings hidden but it doesn't mean I don't have any. I've made mistakes but I've achieved alot.

Being comfortable with who you are and fighting the typecast boxes people put you in is a constant battle, but it's part of the journey. My best friend gets married tomorrow and I have finally booked flights back to Vancouver. I'm happy in the skin I'm in and it has been a long string of months since I have been able to say that.

We were talking last night, over 36 tunnocks seasons greetings tea cakes and lightly salted tortilla chips, about living at home with parents and how crazy they all are....throwing important stuff in the bin for no good reason, muttering under their breath even though you have already given in and started said household chore, stirring cups of tea for a really really really really REALLY long time. And I have to ask....

Why do parents ask us to do things when they are perfectly capable of doing it themselves? And why is it so hard to ask this question without sounding unbelievably obnoxious.

Why do parents lock in on one thing, lets say the coffee cup you left in the lounge the night before, and turn it into the worst offense you could possibly have committed. For instance, "while we're on that note of the coffee cup....you are really really bad with money".

Why do parents want to know absolutely everything? How much money do you earn? Whats in those shopping bags you just brought in with you? Who was on the phone? When are you going to grow up?

You gotta love your parents and the the older you get the more comical these incidences become and isn't it somewhat comforting or refreshing to know that all parents are the same. The man must insert a chip into your brain when you have your first child that programs all this stuff in. Maybe thats why people have water births...you can't insert an electronic chip in water. It goes against common health and safety regulations.

Happy 2010.

I always lose socks and I have no idea how it happens. In Vancouver, I was pretty sure the dryer ate them because it was a beast of a machine. But there is no way our puny little tumble dryer here in Lisburn is eating clothes. So where do they go? I buy them in pairs. I fold them in pairs and put them in a special drawer known as my sock drawer. I wear them in pairs. I take them off in pairs. I put them INTO the washing machine in pairs and somewhere between this point and taking them out of the tumble dryer one part of these pairs goes missing. On my last count, which was this morning, I had 11 single socks without their significant others.

WHERE ARE ALL THE SOCKS? And in true Christian fashion, how can I apply this anecdote to everyday life?

Paris in a nutshell.

Eiffel Tower...impressive.

Champs de Ellyses...beautiful

Notre Dame...breathtaking.

Latin Quarter...character.

Amy's Book Shop...Quirky.

RER system...smelly.

Amy's hosting abilities...mama would be proud.

Tree's...that steal hats. Jamaican willow trees.

Late night banter...unforgettable.

Ridiculously early alarms....snoooooooooooooze.

Disney...magical.

Thunder Mountain, Indiana Mountain, SPACE MOUNTAIN...Epic.

Peter Pan...Gey.

Mad Hatter Tea Cups....GET OUT OF THE CUP WITH YOUR HANDS........UP!

Parades and lights and Christmas trees...soooooo good.

I heart Paris. Totally worth the crazy early mornings and rollercoaster back pains and general coldness. A very awesome start to Christmas.

Twilight isn't a love story. It's an obsession story.

I think black Christmas tree's are kind of cool.

I have a playlist of songs on my ipod that I imagine playing in the background at different moments in my life.

The best feelings in the world include sneezing, clean dry socks, fleecy blankets, and a really great parking job.

I fly to Paris in T-36hrs.

Inspired by a green mango.

Reasons not to date me.

1. I will avoid walking at all costs. When I do walk, I will cross the street as many times as necessary to stay on the sunny side despite safety, time or inconvience. Also if I have to send a text whilst walking, I don't know if you could classify it as walking anymore.

2. I will be late to most things. Even without excessive street crossing.

3. There is a wierd collection of piles all over my bedroom due to my inability to put things away where they belong. It's like little magic tidying fairies come into my room each night and pile everything up trying to tell me in a nice way to clean the flipping place up.

4. I love chocolate, frozen yoghurt, nachos and spaghetti but I hate hot chocolate, ice-cream, cheese and pizza.

5. My wedding song will be a Celine Dion song. Possibly one of the french ones. And I will know all the words, pronunciation and all.

6. I'm serious about that last bullet point.

7. There is an ever increasing list of words that I strongly dislike-some are random and some are justified. This list may or may not include words such as nipple, loaf, moist, crusty, embellish.

8. If you say 'ttyl' or 'whatever' or 'wtf' or 'bbz' to me, I'll take it personally and possibly terminate a relationship.

9. I'm really serious about that last bullet point.

10. I spend time writing blog entries on reason why people shouldn't date me.

Christmas is just around the corner and it feels like it. This week has been another funny one, full of ups and downs and surprises and knock backs. It's almost like a busy waiting room. I know I'll be seen to soon, I just don't know how long I have to wait. And in the meantime, I guess I better find something to do instead of getting bored and frustrated.

I don't know about you guys but I don't mind waiting rooms. It's a really good time to plug into your ipod, stop and think and watch the people around you. It's like choosing to walk on a beautiful day instead of driving. Or choosing to stay in on a Friday night. I love to listen to songs that remind me of people or good times, or songs that motivate you or songs that you can make up really good day dreams to. I love to send a text to somebody that I haven't spoken to in a long time or take notes on interesting things around me that I could write about or lately write letters to people who aren't around.

It's a really refreshing experience which is why it's not as bad as I first thought to be in a dip because my peaks gonna come. I'm gonna get the guy, the job and the opportunity that's right for me. I just gotta wait my turn.

"Feels like letting go" Matthew Perryman Jones
"To build a home" Cinematic Orchestra
"Come and Worship" Bebo Norman
"Hosanna" Hillsongs
"Start a War" The National

But that doesn't mean I don't want the doc to hurry up. My on-the-go playlist is going to end real soon!

Awk lawds I suck on the blog front these days. But I'm going to take it serious again. Maybe. It's a little like facebook status updates.....there are too many possibilities and I am no good at making decisions. So I just don't make one. I guess I could tell you about how stoked I am about Christmas or my trip to Paris or my friends hen day or the Backstreet Boys concert on Thu. but why not just write about it when it actually happens. I could tell y'all that this is my 161st post on my blog which is pretty epic. It's my longest relationship ever. I could blog about X Factor but I'm already bored of hearing peeps complain about it. Don't get me wrong, I agree but don't want to write about it.

Which leaves me with Friday night. It's dark and raining. I get out of work 2 hours later than usual and people are annoying me left right centre and all in between. I pull up in my drive way with a long Friday night ahead of me and take a notion to just drive. I grab an overnight bag, my ipod, jump in the car and head towards Fermanagh. Just the process of driving in the opposite direction to Lisburn accompanied by really loud music was the best therapy ever. All you therapy junkies out there....spend your money on a car and an iTunes account instead. When I got to little Lisnaskea I was content. I was able to leave the shit in the back seat for a bit. No internet, no phone signal and only terrestrial TV. It was fantastic and I only wish I could have stayed but Lisburn was calling.

I won't make a habit of wasting petrol but it is what I needed. Amy if you're out there come back and drive with me please.

I'm burnt out and wasted. I'm tired of pacing. Busy erasing voices in my head and knots in my stomach. Everything changed and people became faceless. But I want to replace this wasted attitude. I want to believe that people are good and not manipulating or deceptive.

Have I been a sinner? Yes. Have I been a lover? Yes. Have I been a killer? Yes. Have I been a victim? Yes. This world is completely alien...I want to escape it, or embrace it. I keep re-arranging everything I know, it's the only thing I know how to do. I'm in a strange, strange place but they say that even fools can find their way out of the dark.

Jenson Button is like totally F1 world champion. I'm ashamed to admit that I have still not watched it, but I have been waiting since the tender age of 14 for him to do it. Ever since I first saw him on TFI Friday with Chris Evans, photocopied his picture out of a magazine and stuck it on the inside of my school folder...when I was 14. That was 9 years ago.

Perseverance and Integrity. He totally beat the "man". I love it when the "man" gets beat.

I'm reading a course in youth work this semester. It's what I should have been studying back when I left school. But it's on weekends. Driving to college @ 9am on a Sunday is unatural...I think I saw tumbleweed roll along the Malone Road. And it means that today was not only Monday, but day 8 on the slow moving train to a land of days off.

But this is not the point, surprisingly. On Sat morning, I was asked/forced to answer a sheet of reflective questions. The type of questions everybody hates to think about because you know the answer in your head but not in actual written words that make sense. Why do you want to do youth work? Why do you want to work with young peeps where you do? What are your personal values and how do they impact your youth work?...that's the biggie, my 'personal' values. I'd rather you give me a sheet of calculus to complete. Whilst thinking really hard about the answer, I had to remind myself I was taking an academic course and not group therapy. Had I been tricked???

No. But seriously, and I promise you'll rarely hear me positively feedback on such exercises, it was good. Like suddenly braking in a fast moving car at a big dirty red light. Forced to stop and rethink your speed....what's more important.....getting to your destination quicker or staying safe? I was reminded of what I personally value the most and it helped me realize and understand a little better the reason and the way I react to some things and don't react to others.

And what is it I value the most?

Resilience, Relationships and 2-way accountability rooted in faith and love the best I can.

Sometimes you have to laugh at life. It's a fairly normal afternoon at after schools club (which still needs a name...the board of governor's didn't approve the WHS prep petting zoo), when I look to the door expecting another late parent worrying about a traffic warden sticking a ticket on their beamer. And here's the funny/tragic/sends a cinematic shudder across the floor part....there's my social worker standing in the doorway.

Behind me, there's one kid lying on the floor cause he just fell of his seat, one kid passed out on the beanbags face down after hockey practice, girls hiding from their parents under the tables and Max playing cards with his imaginary friend Ziggy.

The mental image is hilarious I'll admit, and I'm pretty sure my facial expression was comical perfection but there was awkwardness, and a time delay and a little stuttering.

This woman scares me more than my own mother.

Thankfully the next hour went relatively successfully if you delete the lengthy conversations regarding hand sanitizer, anti-bacterials and using dots instead of x's in the attendance records. But the fact remains that this short little lady will haunt me for the remainder of this year and has the power to fire me at any point for any reason....like using an anti-bacterial spray that kills only 99.5% of bacterias as supposed to 99.9%

C'est la vie...